Pleasures and Pains of Life

Life of a normal person is spent in constantly pushing pains and attracting pleasures. He attempts to repeat pleasurable experiences and becomes addicted to those objects, people and situations that have given him pleasure. He fiercely tries to hold on to them simultaneously avoiding all that is unpleasant and goes through all the stress that is involved in the process. For example when he dose not succeed in getting the objects of pleasure, he falls into an emotional turmoil creating agitation in mind. Sometimes in his madness for seeking pleasure and avoiding pain, he ignores the needs and concerns of others and thus creates a conflict in his relationships. Sometimes in the pursuit of pleasure he acts in a way which he knows is against his consciousness and better judgement. Thus he creates internal conflicts also. Thus a person revolving in the wheel of pleasure and pain having attraction to pleasure and aversion to pain, inevitably and constantly remains under stress and realizes at the end of his life that it was all a futile race he was running although and he has wasted his whole life in these vain pursuits.

Characteristics of Pleasure and Pain

To be able to separate oneself from the clutches of pleasure and pain, first it is essential to understand the nature and philosophy of pleasure and pains which we frequently come across in this changing world of names and forms. Following points make a humble attempt in this direction.

Pleasure and Pain Are Inseparable from Each Other:

Pleasure and pain are twins. They are two face of the same coin. Where one is there the other is also bound to be present. This is inbuilt in the nature of worldly things that pleasures obtain by them are mixed with pain. No great illustrations are required to prove this. We are experiencing it daily in our day to day life.

Pleasure and Pain Are Transitory in Nature:

This means that neither pleasure nor pain is permanent. They are fleeting, ever changing and shifting. Pleasurable objects and experiences can’t remain permanently with us and in the same state. This is because of the ever changing nature of the world where nothing remains static. If everything changes and perishes in due course, then how the pleasures and pains obtained by them can remain permanent. They provide only momentary thrill till you are in contact with them.

Pleasure Ceases to Be Pleasure After Sometimes: 

It is a common experience of our life that the same thing cannot give pleasure for a long time. For example suppose you are very anxious to eat some sweets. For some time you will relish this experience very much. But a stage will come when you wouldn’t want it any more and if it is given forcefully, you will rather feel repulsion and vomit. To quote another example, suppose you are very excited and keen to visit some place. Initially, you will enjoy the experience and obtain great pleasure but a stage will come when you start feeling bored to remain at that place. You would like to return from there. So this is with all pleasures. They are short-lived and satisfy only temporarily and turn into boredom or dryness after sometime. In other words, we can say that every experience of pleasure has a peak beyond which it no more remains a pleasure.

The More Pleasure You Get, the More You Want:

This is another nature of worldly pleasures that the temporary enjoyment you get from these pleasures, makes you more restless and desperate to repeat those pleasurable experiences again and again. The more you repeat the experience, the more your desperation to repeat it further grows on and on until you are totally taken over and destroyed by them. Pleasures never satisfy a person, it only leads to a more desperate search for pleasure. It is like an itch that increases when scratched, like a fire that increases as more fuel is poured on it. In fact attachment to pleasure is like an addiction where we constantly seek higher and higher levels of pleasure to satisfy our needs.

Endless Race in running After Objects of Pleasure:

After you get bored from an object of pleasure after some time, the matter does not end here. You do not remain silent after that. Then you start searching for another object of pleasure. Mind constantly wants to be tickled by a variety of pleasing sensations. To quote an example, suppose you desire to eat an ice cream cone. After your desire of eating ice cream cone is fulfilled you get a momentary satisfaction. But soon after this your mind will begin to search for another object of pleasure. You start thinking, what should I do now? May be I should go to a movie. You fulfil this desire and again a momentary satisfaction is realized, only to make you dissatisfied again and seek something new.

In this way your mind is kept constantly busy restless and your whole life is consumed in the process of pursuing one satisfaction after another. You find little island of enjoyment in the midst of preponderance of restlessness.

Pleasure Is in the Mind, Not in the Objects:

Mind plays a vital role in the enjoyment of pleasures. It is in the mind where we feel pleasure. Objects play a secondary role. Suppose while enjoying a pleasure you hear some sad news, or some horrible thought of fear arises in your mind suddenly, then the same pleasure immediately loses all its charm. Similarly if your mood is not well then you can’t enjoy a pleasure in a similar manner. In a similar way, pains by various worldly objects and events are essentially felt in mind. Depending upon how you react to them and whether you take them lightly or seriously, you can diminish or increase the pain in your mind.

More Time Is Spent in Pursuing After Pleasures Than in Actually Enjoying Them:

It is a general experience that a person who constantly runs after pleasures, spends most of his time in pursuing them and has little time to enjoy them. He lives in a state of uneasiness and unrest and loses so much energy in the pursuit of pleasure that even when he gets the objects of pleasure, he is not able to enjoy it fully. If after pursuing, he does not acquire the object of his pleasure, you can easily think about his mental state.

Actual Pleasure Is Always Less Than The Imagined Pleasure:

It is our general experience that actual pleasure obtained by us by contact with an object, person, place or a situation is always less than what we had imagined. Imagination always projects things in exaggerated and magnified form, different from the reality.

Amount of Pain Coupled with Pleasure Is Much More Than The Pleasure Initially Enjoyed:

Although as we have mentioned earlier, every pleasure is mixed with pain yet if you examine carefully you will realize that the quantum of pain associated with pleasures is much more than the amount of pleasure associated with them. Some amount of pain you have to suffer initially in the efforts of pursuing the object of pleasure and some pain you suffer after the pleasing experience is over as its consequence.

For example suppose you desire to have some spicy food or snacks to satisfy the craving of your tongue. Now initially you will have to undergo the pain of going up to the required shop. Then you will have to wait there in the queue till your number comes. You may also have a fight there with the waiter or any other person for not cooperating in the matter of giving you the food at the right time and in the right manner or not giving you a proper seat. After the food comes, you may find that some article of food is not well prepared. Any way you finally eat the food and after having that momentary pleasure, the later consequences will be that spicy and oily food may have some adverse effect on your health. Your stomach may go unwell; you may have indigestion, heart burning and nausea etc. Another pain you may suffer is the mental urge and impulse to repeat that pleasurable experience of eating again.

To quote another example, suppose you are attached to a person and want to live with him. Now even after you manage to live with him/her, you also come across many other facets of his behaviour/habits which pinch you and you have to bear with them. Further when such a person leaves your company after some time due to any unavoidable circumstances or even leaves you for the time being, you suffer further mental agony of his/her separation.

Then How Can You Find Real Happiness?

From the above discussion, you will be absolutely clear that no permanent satisfaction can be found in pleasures of the world. They can only increase the restlessness and agitation of one’s mind. Then how to attain real happiness and peace of mind?

Real happiness does not reside in the objects but in the state of mind which is independent of these objects. It (true happiness) is an intrinsic property of our inner self and can be tapped if we learn to turn our attention from the external world to the inner world (our true self) off and on by meditation. Most people feel that without objects to strive after, we would be in a state of emptiness or boredom. This misconception is based upon viewing objects as the source of gratification in the world. They do not have the realization that joy can be experienced without objects. Real source of joy, peace and happiness is within us and we do not have to run after anyone or anywhere to get it.

However, it does not mean that we should abandon the world or hate material objects. Material objects, themselves, are not the problem; it is our attachment towards them which creates problem. Yoga encourages a healthy attitude towards material objects. We are encouraged to enjoy the experience and to utilize material objects to accomplish our goals, but should avoid becoming attached to them. We should use them as our servants and not allow them to become our masters and dominate us.

Once we develop detachment and dispassion towards worldly objects and events, then pleasure and pain automatically lose hold on us. We are released from the right rein of pleasure and pain. We develop a deep attitude of equanimity towards all pleasures and pains and remain equipoise in most adverse circumstances, neither elated by gains, nor depressed by losses.

Hence rather than becoming attached to the sensation of pleasures and trying to hold on to it while pushing pain away, simply witness them like a detached observer and take note of their coming and passing with full control on your mind.