Pleasures and Pains of Life

Life of a normal person is spent in constantly pushing pains and attracting pleasures. He attempts to repeat pleasurable experiences and becomes addicted to those objects, people and situations that have given him pleasure. He fiercely tries to hold on to them simultaneously avoiding all that is unpleasant and goes through all the stress that is involved in the process. For example when he dose not succeed in getting the objects of pleasure, he falls into an emotional turmoil creating agitation in mind. Sometimes in his madness for seeking pleasure and avoiding pain, he ignores the needs and concerns of others and thus creates a conflict in his relationships. Sometimes in the pursuit of pleasure he acts in a way which he knows is against his consciousness and better judgement. Thus he creates internal conflicts also. Thus a person revolving in the wheel of pleasure and pain having attraction to pleasure and aversion to pain, inevitably and constantly remains under stress and realizes at the end of his life that it was all a futile race he was running although and he has wasted his whole life in these vain pursuits.

Characteristics of Pleasure and Pain

To be able to separate oneself from the clutches of pleasure and pain, first it is essential to understand the nature and philosophy of pleasure and pains which we frequently come across in this changing world of names and forms. Following points make a humble attempt in this direction.

Pleasure and Pain Are Inseparable from Each Other:

Pleasure and pain are twins. They are two face of the same coin. Where one is there the other is also bound to be present. This is inbuilt in the nature of worldly things that pleasures obtain by them are mixed with pain. No great illustrations are required to prove this. We are experiencing it daily in our day to day life.

Pleasure and Pain Are Transitory in Nature:

This means that neither pleasure nor pain is permanent. They are fleeting, ever changing and shifting. Pleasurable objects and experiences can’t remain permanently with us and in the same state. This is because of the ever changing nature of the world where nothing remains static. If everything changes and perishes in due course, then how the pleasures and pains obtained by them can remain permanent. They provide only momentary thrill till you are in contact with them.

Pleasure Ceases to Be Pleasure After Sometimes: 

It is a common experience of our life that the same thing cannot give pleasure for a long time. For example suppose you are very anxious to eat some sweets. For some time you will relish this experience very much. But a stage will come when you wouldn’t want it any more and if it is given forcefully, you will rather feel repulsion and vomit. To quote another example, suppose you are very excited and keen to visit some place. Initially, you will enjoy the experience and obtain great pleasure but a stage will come when you start feeling bored to remain at that place. You would like to return from there. So this is with all pleasures. They are short-lived and satisfy only temporarily and turn into boredom or dryness after sometime. In other words, we can say that every experience of pleasure has a peak beyond which it no more remains a pleasure.

The More Pleasure You Get, the More You Want:

This is another nature of worldly pleasures that the temporary enjoyment you get from these pleasures, makes you more restless and desperate to repeat those pleasurable experiences again and again. The more you repeat the experience, the more your desperation to repeat it further grows on and on until you are totally taken over and destroyed by them. Pleasures never satisfy a person, it only leads to a more desperate search for pleasure. It is like an itch that increases when scratched, like a fire that increases as more fuel is poured on it. In fact attachment to pleasure is like an addiction where we constantly seek higher and higher levels of pleasure to satisfy our needs.

Endless Race in running After Objects of Pleasure:

After you get bored from an object of pleasure after some time, the matter does not end here. You do not remain silent after that. Then you start searching for another object of pleasure. Mind constantly wants to be tickled by a variety of pleasing sensations. To quote an example, suppose you desire to eat an ice cream cone. After your desire of eating ice cream cone is fulfilled you get a momentary satisfaction. But soon after this your mind will begin to search for another object of pleasure. You start thinking, what should I do now? May be I should go to a movie. You fulfil this desire and again a momentary satisfaction is realized, only to make you dissatisfied again and seek something new.

In this way your mind is kept constantly busy restless and your whole life is consumed in the process of pursuing one satisfaction after another. You find little island of enjoyment in the midst of preponderance of restlessness.

Pleasure Is in the Mind, Not in the Objects:

Mind plays a vital role in the enjoyment of pleasures. It is in the mind where we feel pleasure. Objects play a secondary role. Suppose while enjoying a pleasure you hear some sad news, or some horrible thought of fear arises in your mind suddenly, then the same pleasure immediately loses all its charm. Similarly if your mood is not well then you can’t enjoy a pleasure in a similar manner. In a similar way, pains by various worldly objects and events are essentially felt in mind. Depending upon how you react to them and whether you take them lightly or seriously, you can diminish or increase the pain in your mind.

More Time Is Spent in Pursuing After Pleasures Than in Actually Enjoying Them:

It is a general experience that a person who constantly runs after pleasures, spends most of his time in pursuing them and has little time to enjoy them. He lives in a state of uneasiness and unrest and loses so much energy in the pursuit of pleasure that even when he gets the objects of pleasure, he is not able to enjoy it fully. If after pursuing, he does not acquire the object of his pleasure, you can easily think about his mental state.

Actual Pleasure Is Always Less Than The Imagined Pleasure:

It is our general experience that actual pleasure obtained by us by contact with an object, person, place or a situation is always less than what we had imagined. Imagination always projects things in exaggerated and magnified form, different from the reality.

Amount of Pain Coupled with Pleasure Is Much More Than The Pleasure Initially Enjoyed:

Although as we have mentioned earlier, every pleasure is mixed with pain yet if you examine carefully you will realize that the quantum of pain associated with pleasures is much more than the amount of pleasure associated with them. Some amount of pain you have to suffer initially in the efforts of pursuing the object of pleasure and some pain you suffer after the pleasing experience is over as its consequence.

For example suppose you desire to have some spicy food or snacks to satisfy the craving of your tongue. Now initially you will have to undergo the pain of going up to the required shop. Then you will have to wait there in the queue till your number comes. You may also have a fight there with the waiter or any other person for not cooperating in the matter of giving you the food at the right time and in the right manner or not giving you a proper seat. After the food comes, you may find that some article of food is not well prepared. Any way you finally eat the food and after having that momentary pleasure, the later consequences will be that spicy and oily food may have some adverse effect on your health. Your stomach may go unwell; you may have indigestion, heart burning and nausea etc. Another pain you may suffer is the mental urge and impulse to repeat that pleasurable experience of eating again.

To quote another example, suppose you are attached to a person and want to live with him. Now even after you manage to live with him/her, you also come across many other facets of his behaviour/habits which pinch you and you have to bear with them. Further when such a person leaves your company after some time due to any unavoidable circumstances or even leaves you for the time being, you suffer further mental agony of his/her separation.

Then How Can You Find Real Happiness?

From the above discussion, you will be absolutely clear that no permanent satisfaction can be found in pleasures of the world. They can only increase the restlessness and agitation of one’s mind. Then how to attain real happiness and peace of mind?

Real happiness does not reside in the objects but in the state of mind which is independent of these objects. It (true happiness) is an intrinsic property of our inner self and can be tapped if we learn to turn our attention from the external world to the inner world (our true self) off and on by meditation. Most people feel that without objects to strive after, we would be in a state of emptiness or boredom. This misconception is based upon viewing objects as the source of gratification in the world. They do not have the realization that joy can be experienced without objects. Real source of joy, peace and happiness is within us and we do not have to run after anyone or anywhere to get it.

However, it does not mean that we should abandon the world or hate material objects. Material objects, themselves, are not the problem; it is our attachment towards them which creates problem. Yoga encourages a healthy attitude towards material objects. We are encouraged to enjoy the experience and to utilize material objects to accomplish our goals, but should avoid becoming attached to them. We should use them as our servants and not allow them to become our masters and dominate us.

Once we develop detachment and dispassion towards worldly objects and events, then pleasure and pain automatically lose hold on us. We are released from the right rein of pleasure and pain. We develop a deep attitude of equanimity towards all pleasures and pains and remain equipoise in most adverse circumstances, neither elated by gains, nor depressed by losses.

Hence rather than becoming attached to the sensation of pleasures and trying to hold on to it while pushing pain away, simply witness them like a detached observer and take note of their coming and passing with full control on your mind.

Meaning and Purpose of Life

Some people spend their life as if they have to somehow pass the time of their life by indulging in whatever work comes their way. They mindlessly run here and there without understanding the larger aim of life which underlies all our activities. They take up something, but after a while become tired of it and then take up another thing. Many of us go through life in a similar way. We wander about aimlessly in one direction or other, seeking as many adventures as possible. But after traveling through the uncountable variety of lands, homes, jobs, encounters, relationships and projects that life has to offer, we remain puzzled as to what it was all about. All too often in this journey of life we come to the end looking back, and wondering as to what was the purpose of all this running about.

We believe that by accumulating a lot of such experiences, we increase our awareness and consciousness but in reality the process is just the opposite. It is only by giving up and letting go that the consciousness expands. The expansion of consciousness doesn’t lie in the quantitative accumulation of experiences but in a qualitative change in one’s consciousness.

The reason for this aimless approach to life is that the consciousness of most human beings is not fully developed. Their consciousness usually has a limited range and focus due to which they are not able to see the things in their entirety. It (their consciousness) can be compared to a small light which illuminates only small portions here and there, but never knowing the full design and the meaning and purpose of what is being touched. In other words most human beings have only a partial awakening of their consciousness.

The growth of consciousness doesn’t consist in travelling with a small and uncertain light that illuminates only small segments of the vast unknown. It is the systematic expansion of one’s consciousness to the extent that everything can be understood and appreciated in its entirety in relation to the whole and there remain no scope for partial and distorted truth.

The underlying goal of our life is to attain this highest state of consciousness where consciousness is fully expanded and developed. In this state our identity is not narrowly confined but embraces all. Everything can now be known and understood properly in its true and unbiased state. In the process of growth, this underlying purpose of our lives should remain stable despite all the changes we undergo in life. This is what provides the meaning and purpose to our life.

One of the major changes which occur when consciousness expands is a movement from self centeredness to selflessness. When the life of consciousness is small, whatever is not included in its boundaries is alien to it. Thus an individual whose consciousness is not well developed will be unable to appreciate the concerns and viewpoints of others. There will be considerable conflict in this person’s life in relation to his environment. But as consciousness expands we become less self -centred and less preoccupied with trivial individual concerns.

As consciousness gradually expands, we keep on climbing to a higher vantage point from where we can see things from a larger perspective which allows us to be less concerned and anxious and enable us to see things as they really are and not as we imagined about them from a narrow perspective. One’s thinking, feeling, attitudes and self concept are systematically transformed as consciousness is expanded. The world and the people remain the same but our angle of vision towards them changes totally.

When consciousness remains at a low level, one’s identity remains totally confined and narrow. One’s life is always occupied with ‘I’, ‘Me’, and ‘Mine’. This creates for us a sense of separation from all that we define as ‘not I’. And this separation creates discomfort, disharmony and at times a feeling of loneliness and isolation. The experience of separateness arouses anxiety. It is indeed the source of all anxiety. The narrower is one’s concept of identity, the more insecure he will be, feeling small in the world which seems large and threatening. He looks himself as an isolated being struggling against the rest of the world. Such a person works primarily to achieve security and his chief concern is self protection.

Yoga and spirituality helps us transcend constricting identities to achieve a more encompassing awareness of who and what we are and finally establish ourselves in our true nature which is full of peace, happiness and bliss. Expanded identity involves less self preoccupation and more concern for others. When this happens, even in a minor way, there is a feeling of openness and lightness. We come to a greater awareness of the way in which all beings are interrelated. Our sense of separation between ourselves and others become less and less acute. We organize our lives to work for the common benefit, or all of us rather than for me and mine.

A person with a narrow identity can’t see a larger pattern of his life. In giving he feels that some part of him is being lost. But the person with an expanded identity views himself as intimately connected with the whole. Instead of acting from a sense of isolation and insecurity, he begins to act from a sense of fullness and interrelatedness. The idea of working and living only for himself seems quite absurd to him.

If we wish to grow, all the identification in terms of ‘me’ and ‘mine’ must slowly be abandoned and replaced. These identifications lead to conflict and unhappiness. Although each of the things in the world apparently has a separate identity, yet when we go to the very source, we find that there is an underlying unity in the apparent diversity. The aim of all Yoga and spirituality is a movement from separateness to unity.

Levels of Mind

Conscious Mind

Conscious mind is that part of our mind which reasons, thinks, discriminates, contemplates and analyzes. Emotions or feelings of all sorts, i.e. likes, dislikes, love, hatred, jealousy, anger, joys, sorrows etc., are all experienced in this mind. Imagination of all sorts of future happenings and worrying about the past are all done through this mind.

Through physical senses (Sight, Sound, Smell, Touch and Taste), conscious mind remains in contact with the outside world. All voluntary movements of the body are done by our conscious mind only, through the respective organs of action.

Besides, the conscious mind also remains in touch with the subconscious mind (another level of mind described later). Impulses and urges from our subconscious mind induce the conscious mind to behave in a certain way and to indulge in certain types of action. However, the conscious mind on the other hand is also subject to pressures from society and outside world which expect it to act or behave in a certain way so that its image is not tarnished. It results in a conflict if the subconscious mind’s urges and the social expectations don’t match and thus our conscious mind remains in a state of conflict and turmoil. If it increases too much, it results in many psychosomatic diseases.

The central idea in mind control is to remove this conflict in the conscious mind by exposing the subconscious mind totally and removing all types of biases, prejudices, fears, suspicions, and negative emotions stored there.

Subconscious Mind

Subconscious mind is another level of mind and is accessed when we go deep inside our inner journey.

The subconscious mind is the storehouse of our memory. All that we have ever seen, heard, thought, talked, done whether in this life or earlier lives get stored here as a sort of permanent record. Emotions linked with our thoughts, words and actions are also deposited in our subconscious mind along with memory. It is this emotional part of our thoughts/words/deeds which after depositing in the subconscious mind plays havoc with us. These emotions make the conscious mind restless by constantly agitating it from below. They are like fire balls kept below the conscious mind. The urges and impulses rising from the subconscious mind constantly demand satisfaction through the conscious mind.

Pure memory without any emotions doesn’t affect the purity of subconscious mind. It is the emotions which make the water of subconscious mind impure and turbulent and which in turn agitate the conscious mind.

Every incident to which we react with emotion also creates an impression on the subconscious mind which is called samskara. Because of these impressions, we all have different types of predispositions, inclinations, habits, biases, phobias, fears etc. In the science of mental control, the subconscious mind is purged of all these impressions and impurities, and rendered pure. To illustrate it with an example, suppose you have had a very bad experience with a tenant in your house. You had frequent quarrels, shouting, and exchange of abuses with him. By such repeated incidents, you might develop a bias or impression in your mind that now you will never give your house on rent to anybody because all tenants would be like that only. Similarly, another person who has had a wonderful relation with his tenant might develop a bias that it is good to keep a tenant in the house. Thus, because of biases, both the persons are not able to see the reality as it is. However, the fact of the life is that there are both good and bad person in the world and just because some persons are bad, everybody doesn’t become bad. Even you may have to say at a place as a tenant where you do not have a house of your own, will you behave in the same way as your tenant behaved with you? Certainly not. The requirement is to clean the subconscious mind of all biases and past conditioning so that it can look upon the things in a completely objective way without adding the colour of emotions.

Normally, the subconscious mind can’t be directly accessed. Way to go to it is only through the conscious mind. But a branch of science has been developed called ‘hynotism’ through which the hypnotist makes a direct access to his subject’s subconscious mind by bringing his conscious mind in a semi-sleep or drowsy state by suitable techniques. The advantages of this direct access is that the subject’s phobias, fears, biases, guilt complexes stored in the subconscious mind can be directly known and then counter suggestions can be given to the patient’s subconscious mind to alter these patterns. So many psychological treatments have been done this way where the roots of the problems were lying in patient’s subconscious mind. Use of hypnotism has now been extended to painless surgeries and childbirth by giving the patient necessary suggestions during hypnosis and there is no need to give external anaesthesia.

All our mental powers or occult powers belong to the domain of the subconscious mind. Telepathy (mind to mind communication), clairvoyance (seeing distant things), clairaudience (hearing distant sound), hypnosis, autosuggestions, visualization, all these phenomena belong to our subconscious mind. When by any means (i.e. meditation, hypnosis), we have access to our subconscious mind, we can have access to these powers also. Power of materialisation of thought also belongs to the domain of the subconscious mind.

Functioning of autonomous nervous system in our body is totally under control of the subconscious mind, e.g. activities of breathing, digestion, blood-circulation, heart, immune system, etc.

Super conscious Mind

Super conscious mind is our real self devoid of any impurity and full of bliss and peace. If we can have a glimpse of it even for a moment we will be filled with indescribable peace. It is like drinking from the fountain of joy and peace. The more we are able to stay at this place, the more the nectar of bliss and peace and happiness comes by our contact with this real self. The illusory happiness or pleasures which we derive from worldly possessions and sensory enjoyments are only short lived and mixed with pain.

Now the most vital question is how to remain in contact with our super conscious mind or real self? The subconscious mind acts as a barrier between the conscious mind and super conscious mind and dose not allow the conscious mind to perceive the super conscious mind directly by turning within. To illustrate it with an analogy, the subconscious mind is like a lake filled with water, the super conscious mind is the bottom of the lake and the conscious mind is the perceiver looking from the top through the water of the lake. So long as the water of the lake is dirty and turbulent (i.e. the subconscious mind is full of impurities), the conscious mind can’t see the bottom of the lake. But when the water of lake is pure and calm (i.e. a pure subconscious mind purged of all impurities), you can clearly see the bottom of the lake.

Hence in other words, techniques of self realization are nothing but a process of cleaning the impurities of the subconscious mind and a process of stilling the conscious mind and turning it inward. When the conscious mind is directed outwards, it is in contact with the world and when it is inwardly directed it is directed towards this real self (or the super conscious mind). This is what is done in meditation to turn the direction of mind inwards, that is, towards the real self.